Profile
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| User: | desertrosedark (9392251) Trying to hang on...
It's not as easy as it looks, y'all |
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| Name: | The Dark Side of Me | |
| Location: | Jacksonville, Florida, United States | |
| Bio: | I am a 32-year-old woman of English, Irish, Cherokee, Scots, Welsh, and French ancestry. I am the mother of a beautiful, intelligent, creative, and challenging 15-year-old girl. I am an unabashed bibliophile; I majored in English in college because I love to read. Reading is a refuge unequalled by any other on earth, except possibly music and cats (thank you, Albert Schweizer). I am also a survivor of incest and rape. My father molested me until I was 11 years old. I'm not sure when it began; from things in my medical records and reflections upon my childhood behavior, I am fairly sure that it began quite early. I was also raped by my ex-husband. I have been diagnosed, variously, with bipolar disorder type I (no manic episodes, only depressive and hypomanic), recurrent major depression with psychotic features, schizoaffective disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and borderline personality disorder. The ones I believe are the schizoaffective disorder and the PTSD, and I lend some credence to the recurrent major depression with psychotic features, but I don't see much difference between that and the schizoaffective disorder. I attended a support group for sexual-assault survivors when I lived in Charleston, SC, run by People Against Rape; for six months I volunteered as a victim advocate and filled in for my support group coordinator when she had surgery. I moved to Jacksonville, FL in 2002 and have not been able to find an organization like PAR or a support group that seemed right for me. CAST OF CHARACTERS IN MY JOURNAL Cliff: my beloved fiance (we live together and we're getting married in March 2009) Nancy: Cliff's baby sister, who also lives with us for financial reasons. She can be okay sometimes but is usually a pain in my ass. Dixie: Cliff's mother, who also lives with us for financial reasons (i.e. they got evicted from their last place for not paying rent, and they had no place to go but to move in with us). She's usually okay, but occasionally gets nosy and annoys me. Jen ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} deepnsorrow: my best friend whom I don't get to see enough of because she's always working so that she and her husband can keep their heads above water.Rip bustermuff: Jen's wonderful hubby, who is also constantly working his ass off so they can keep their heads above water. He's perfect for Jen though, and they're happy together, so I'm happy for them. I just wish I got to see a little more of them.My daughter: I don't mention my daughter's name in my journal because I'm a little paranoid about internet stalkers who might want to get at a cute 15-year-old girl via me. Sometimes I refer to her as Mini-me because she looks just like a miniature me except with lighter, shorter hair and lighter eyes. Tiff: my second best friend and neighbor. She will be performing Cliff's and my handfasting ceremony next March. Beau: Tiff's hubby, who can cook up a storm, especially meats. Tyler: Tiff and Beau's roommate, Cliff's and my former roommate. He will be one of Cliff's attendants in the ceremony. He occasionally annoys me but not nearly so much now that he doesn't live with us. He is intelligent and can be very funny when he chooses to be, but he can also be a real jerk if you catch him wrong. Mike rainbowdragon77: One of my best friends I've never met in person. We met through a chat room for Katherine Kurtz's Deryni series of fantasy novels, and got to be good friends.Charlie: Mike's husband Kevin: My other best internet friend; he and Mike and I call ourselves the Three Musketeers. We stick together for each other, even if it is all just over the internet and over the phone. T: Kevin's wife; he prefers not to disclose her full name, so I won't either even though I know it. Nick: A young bi man from a GLBT chatroom I moderate, who is interested in possibly becoming a second in Cliff's and my relationship. Bill: My stepdad of 24 years, more my father than my biological father, and the only grandfather my daughter knows. (Her father and his family have had no contact with us since her father and I divorced, and I heard though I can't confirm that my daughter's paternal grandfather has died.) I usually just call my mother Mom. That makes it pretty obvious who I mean. I think that's everybody I talk about much. If I think of anybody else, I'll add them to the list. | |
| Interests: | 23: abuse recovery, anxiety, books, depression, gay marriage, gay rights, glbt, glbt rights, incest recovery, music, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, ptsd, rape survival, reading, recovery, schizoaffective disorder, self-injury, self-mutilation, sexual abuse survival, sexual assault recovery, suicide, surviving | |
| Friends: | ||
| Mutual Friends: | 14: browncoatrebel, crystalra1ndr0p, deepnsorrow, dreamymuse, hollow_warrior, irish_kipley, karmic_serenity, lilaolivia, peter_lorax, phoenixrizing99, rainbowdragon77, richhuish, tgirl2, xxcelestaxx | |
| Also Friend of: | 4: alexprag, ddana7274, dingdongdead, stpidsecretgrl | |
| Member of: | 8: _survivors_, dnward_spiral, erase_stigma, in_silent_decay, mybodytaken, rrrrawrrrr, schizoaffect, sza_living | |
| Account type: | Basic Account | |
